Saturday, November 26, 2011

A funny thing happened to me at a wedding

I was recently stalking browsing my favorite blogs and saw a lovely ornament over at Cordelias Cauldron.  Well, I mentioned my love of peacocks to Cordelia and soon received some wonderful gifts from her.  So, I thought I would show them off here.  However, first there is a back story (isn’t there ALWAYS a back story?) that I have to tell before you get to see the goodies. It all came about one warm Wisconsin day while celebrating the love of a good friend:

My patron goddess made herself known to me during a catholic wedding ceremony I attended.  If any of you have ever been to one, you know about the kneeling, standing, kneeling, standing—well you get the idea.  There is another component to these as well.  At various times during the ceremony, someone will get up and do a reading from the bible, or from a poem, or they will express some lovely sentiments for the happy couple.  

So, during this celebration of a friend’s love, I heard a family member say very clearly (as if they were beside me) and loud enough for the entire congregation to hear, 

“Hera blesses this union.”

Now, I did not think anything of this, as it had been happening as different times throughout the service.  It was not until the reception that I found out there was no family member named Hera and, apparently, I had been the only one to hear this invocation.  What happened was this:

As I went through the receiving line with my daughter at my side, I mentioned to her that I thought it was very nice of the grandmother to bless the marriage.  My daughter looked at me with a strange look on her face and said OK.  Now, my daughter often looks at me strangely so I did not think anything of this. When we got to the couple (the bride was a co-worker and friend), I asked about the blessing and the bride said that there was no Hera in either family.  My daughter took this opportunity to look at me with a “see I knew you were going crazy” look on her face.  As we too our leave and were driving home, I insisted that I was not hearing things and that Hera had expressly given her blessing to my friend’s marriage. Again, my daughter proceeded with the rolling of the eyes and silent pleas to the goddess to take pity on the crazy lady.

So, once we got home I got onto the computer and typed in the name Hera.  I found out that she is the Greek goddess of, among other things, marriage.  She is the queen of the deities being Zeus’s wife (Lindemans, 2001).  Now, thinking that Hera was a peaceful goddess (who else would be the patron of marriage and birth) I was happy that she gave her blessing.  

However, after further reading about how Zeus cheated on her all the time and that she was a vengeful woman made me wonder about the implications of such a pronouncement.  Was this a good thing for the two lovebirds or did it bode ill will?  Would my friend end up sad and lonely or would she have a long and happy married life?

Considering that this was about eight years ago and the two of them are still so very madly in love with each other you can taste it...I think it was a great thing.  Maybe Hera, having been the scorned lover so many times, knew that those two people were each other’s destined lover.

Okay, now that you know the story, let me tell you a couple of things with which Hera is associated.  Her scared animals are cows and peacocks.  Other associations include the crow, pomegranate (Lindemans, 2001).   The Romans worship Hera as Juno and the most popular month for weddings, June, is named after her (Hera, Greek Goddess of Love and Marriage).  

Which brings us to the visuals:

A duplicate of the ornament that I admired at Cordelia's Cauldron

A beautiful candle

A clip of peacock feathers

 Thank you Cordelia for the wonderful gifts!!

Hera, Greek Goddess of Love and Marriage. (n.d.). Retrieved November 26, 2011, from goddess
Lindemans, M. (2001, May 12). Hera. Retrieved November 26, 2011, from Encyclopedia Mythica™:

Friday, November 25, 2011

Better late than never, eh

"Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them -- every day begin the task anew." ~~Saint Francis de Sales

The above quote is courtesy of Salem Witch Child from over at Salem's Creations blog  and says a lot about my current situation.  On this Thanksgiving, I have a lot to be thankful for my children, my family, and my friends.  I know that we all have these things, but mine have been working overtime recently for me and I cannot say enough how grateful I am for having them in my life.

Therefore, late that it may, I wish all a Happy Thanksgiving!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Please take a second to remember

Thank you to the soldiers, both past and present, who give up everything to defend our country. This is the greatest place on earth and it is because of these men and women who sacrifice so much , so we can have the things we want.

A big thanks also to their families for doing without them by their side so that they can be the line between us and the rest of the world.

<May the goddess hold each of you in her arms until you are returned to where you rightfully home!>

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Complacency defined as” a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unaware of some potential danger, defect, or the like” according to  The past couple of weeks has demonstrated to me just exactly what that means.

After the recent events that I posted about on here in the October 12 post, I never realized just how complacent I had become.  Then on October 25, the fact was slammed into me.  My husband said that he was leaving me.  He was nice enough to give me time to make arrangements for childcare, but in the end he will be leaving.  I hate that fact and I wish I could change it.

I am not going to go into the details here as they are still very raw, suffice it to say that this has lead me to do some serious soul-searching.  According to Iris Krasnow, author of the upcoming book The Secret Lives of Wives: Women Share What It Really Takes to Stay Married, the oft quoted statistic of “50 % of marriages end in divorce” is no longer true.  The divorce rate is now down to 43%, a 7% drop since the 1990’s. had an article on September 29, 2011 that detailed some unique approaches to making a marriage work.

Now, this all got me to thinking what I could have done better in my own marriage to keep it intact.  A lot of the things I did have stemmed from my past and I failed to let myself live fully in the present.  Things that happened to me were held like armor against a truly happy relationship.  I could not let myself really trust the man I love as a result of what others had done to me.  This was a huge mistake!!!  Everyone deserves to be judged on their own merits and not held accountable for the actions of others.  If you love someone enough to join together with them for what should be forever, they have the right to be trusted.

People need space, they need to have things that they do for their own sanity and sometimes that involve persons of the opposite sex.  If you have a real trusting relationship this should not be a problem.  I was always afraid for him to do this as I have been cheated on before.

I have a very cynical viewpoint on life.  My philosophy has always been, “Expect the worst, that way you are never disappointed.”  It has held me in good stead for over 30 years, but this time it may have been a factor in my being disappointed.  If you never look for the good things in life, they will just pass you by.  You have to allow some things in for you to have happiness.

The cynicism did not allow me to be an affectionate wife.  Many times I had tried to be playful only to be told that I looked stupid.  After hearing that so many times, you tend to shut it off.  It lead to me doing a big disservice to my husband.  I could never be the kind of lover that he wants.  This really haunts me as I would like to be able to do some of the things that men like to do.

So, after having time to analyze the events, I can only come to the conclusion that I have figured these things out too late.  Of course, I hope for a change of circumstance.  Having him decide that maybe this is worth fighting for would be a wonderful happening, but I am not holding my breath.

For those out there who are in a serious, long-term relationship:

Please stop and think about how your past affects the present.  Maybe you are insecure with friends of the opposite sex, maybe you are scared to give each other the time away to recharge.  Don’t be, you may actually be saving your self the heartache and anguish of being left behind.