Sunday, August 5, 2018

Can you ever really trust a cheater?



I know that I do not have many readers, but I would still like do more on here; as I lead a very boring life, the few of you that do read here may be treated from time to time to my rambles on various issues.  This is one of those times.  LOL
So the Lycan was watching a show and stopped it to ask me if I thought that a couple can actually come back from one of them cheating.  Short answer, NO.   Long answer,  no I do not as there will always be that small voice in the back of the victim’s (and yes they are a victim) mind wanting to know.  For the ease of explaining here is will use the cheater as male and the victim as female.  I do know that this can go the other way around. 

Example:
She finds out that he has been cheating on her for 6 months now.   They are able to work through it and stay together.   Every now and then when he says that he is going somewhere and will be back in X amount of time, he is late.  That little voice will always be there asking, what is he doing, who is he with, where did he actually go?

Option #1- she never asks and it festers over time until she finally one day blows up.  They have a knock-down-drag-out and one of them leaves.

Option #2- she asks every time and he gets tired of explaining himself all the time.

           Subset A: he leaves because he cannot explain anymore

Subset B: he cheats again because he thinks, “She is accusing me of it, I might as well be doing it.”

Option #3- she never asks and it never blows up.  To me, this is the worst option of all because her life is a sham because she can never be truly happy with that doubt living in her mind.  

Now, I know that there are those of you out there will disagree.  Maybe there are those couples who say that they have worked it out and trust again.  Are they lying?  I cannot argue with them about their feelings, maybe they really have gotten to the place where things are back to the way they were before, but I do not feel that if everyone is honest with themselves that the trust is every really regained.  




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