What are people thinking?

Something happened at work today that just drove home a point to me.  I used to be the team leader in one of our organizations clinics.  I was leader for 2 full-time family practice physician’s (one of whom not only perform multiple specialty procedures but did so in 2 offices), 3 full-time behavioral health practitioners (again one that went to 2 offices), 1 part-time psychiatrist (once a month), and a dietician (whom I really did not do much for).  This included managing the staff that assisted those providers as well as administrative duties such as budgets and discipline.  While I was doing that, there were many times when I went to my manager asking for something as I was feeling overwhelmed.  I was told multiple times to “join the team” and that all the team leaders were busy.   I ended up going on medications to help manage my anxiety at dealing with it all.  I was a bitch to my family.  Something had to change.

Then the opportunity came up to change my position to essentially the same, but not having to deal with the administrative stuff.   This left my former position open, but they rolled that into the other team leaders responsibilities.  I changed positions, taking a large pay cut, but I have not regretted that change.  I love working with her and all of the staff at the new clinic.  The providers are a joy to work with and it is like an extended family.  We know what is going on in each other’s lives.   My first team leader I worked under was great and when she left, the woman who replaced her is just as wonderful.

But, I know that things behind the scenes are not improved from when I was a team leader and it seemed like it is getting worse.  Then this morning we came to work to an email that one of the other team leaders had received a new job title of assistant practice manager of the clinic where I previously worked.   However, the job description is essentially the same as the one for my team leader with a few sentences of BS added on.   Oh, and my team leader is responsible for 2 separate clinics.    

The newly promoted person has never been able to participate in committees; always saying that she is too busy.  This is even when I was there that she was too busy to do this even though I was a member of 2 committees in addition to my regular duties.  She is still not a member of any committee of which I am aware. 

This just seems to be a slap in the face of the other team leaders in our organization and unfortunately, it is indicative of how things are being done lately.  Recently, in the span of a couple of months we had over 10 staff members leave their jobs.   Someone needs to wake up and see that the clinics are not being managed in an effective manner and ultimately the staff and patients will be adversely affected. 

Maybe it is time to look for another job?

August is Medic Alert Awareness Month

2 post in one day.  I know feast or famine, right.  This post is one that I borrowed from a newsletter from work, but the subject is important for all.  

August is Medic Alert Awareness Month

   Imagine a loved one in a life or death emergency and the only thing preventing them from getting the immediate care they need, is their vital medical history.  This and other emergencies  could be averted by each person with a medical condition wearing a medical identification tag.  These tags are a small emblem worn on a bracelet, necklace or even on  clothing bearing a message that the wearer has an important medical condition that might require immediate attention.  To raise awareness to this very important situation, August has been named Medic Alert awareness month. It is dedicated to educating the public and raising awareness towards the use of Medic Alert  bracelets.  Unfortunately, It is usually the people who are in need of the bracelets that are typically well informed about them which means the general public is not as educated about the bracelets and can end tragically.  A MedicAlert bracelet is designed to save a person’s life in an emergency.  

People with the following conditions should wear a Medic Alert bracelet:

Food or drug allergies

Anaphylaxis

Asthma

Cardiac issue

Hypertension 

Epilepsy/seizures

Pacemaker

Diabetes

Stroke risk

Lung Disease

Cancer

Dialysis

Multiple Sclerosis

DNR order

Blood thinners (Coumadin, Warfarin)

Anemia/Blood disorders

Dementia/Alzheimer’s

Autism

Children with special needs

The bracelets are vital for people who have life-threatening or potentially dangerous medical conditions that need immediate medical care. These bracelets become the voice of the patient in the event  they are unable to speak for themselves.  It helps first responders and medical personnel recognize medical conditions, medications, allergies and treatment wishes of the patients.  These life saving items are available at Medicalert.org as well as many other sites and can mean the difference in a life or death situation.  

Can you ever really trust a cheater?

I know that I do not have many readers, but I would still like do more on here; as I lead a very boring life, the few of you that do read here may be treated from time to time to my rambles on various issues.  This is one of those times.  LOL

So the Lycan was watching a show and stopped it to ask me if I thought that a couple can actually come back from one of them cheating.  Short answer, NO.   Long answer,  no I do not as there will always be that small voice in the back of the victim’s (and yes they are a victim) mind wanting to know.  For the ease of explaining here is will use the cheater as male and the victim as female.  I do know that this can go the other way around. 

Example:

She finds out that he has been cheating on her for 6 months now.   They are able to work through it and stay together.   Every now and then when he says that he is going somewhere and will be back in X amount of time, he is late.  That little voice will always be there asking, what is he doing, who is he with, where did he actually go?

Option #1- she never asks and it festers over time until she finally one day blows up.  They have a knock-down-drag-out and one of them leaves.

Option #2- she asks every time and he gets tired of explaining himself all the time.

           Subset A: he leaves because he cannot explain anymore

Subset B: he cheats again because he thinks, “She is accusing me of it, I might as well be doing it.”

Option #3- she never asks and it never blows up.  To me, this is the worst option of all because her life is a sham because she can never be truly happy with that doubt living in her mind.  

Now, I know that there are those of you out there will disagree.  Maybe there are those couples who say that they have worked it out and trust again.  Are they lying?  I cannot argue with them about their feelings, maybe they really have gotten to the place where things are back to the way they were before, but I do not feel that if everyone is honest with themselves that the trust is every really regained.  

Making time

I have been in a rut for so long.  I am trying to push myself out of it and get interactive more.  Reading has been my fall back for so long, but I have to get back to other activities.  

We all have those times where we think back and wonder how our life would have turned out if we had done things differently.  Recently, I had this hit me like a ton of bricks.  Out of the blue, for no reason whatsoever.

I was driving to work one day, listening to music when all of a sudden I remembered one New Year’s Eve where I was blown away.  Let’s start with the background:

My father was no saint, I love him with all my heart, but the man was a horn dog when he was younger.  I didn’t realize it then, but that is the reason why I met so many new women when I was a teenager.   One of these women had two children, a daughter my age (13 years old) and a son that was a few years older than me.  I was at the age where I was starting to think that boys were cute and he was cute.   He paid some attention to me, but not any more than he did his sister’s other friends. 
I feel horrible about this but I do not even remember his name now.  He did not really seem to seek me out, just was nice to me when I was over.  He did nothing to make me think he thought I was anything special.
They moved away not long after and, of course being a teen, I lost contact with his sister.
Two or three years later, I have a boyfriend (ended up my husband and father of my oldest son) and I am at work.  Looking forward to the next night which is New Year’s Eve and a party that we planned on attending.
I hear the door to the restaurant open and heard someone talking to my co-worker.  She comes up to me and tells me that I have a visitor.  Walking around the counter, I see him.   For some reason, I burst into tears.  He asks me to sit and talk to him for a bit, so I take my break.  It seems that he is back in town for a visit and never forgot me.  He asked around until he found me and wanted us to go out that evening.  I told him that I was with someone, but that we had a party the next night and I asked him if he would like to go with us.  Remember that I was only 15 at this point and never gave a thought to his feelings.   He accepted.  I let my boyfriend know and we picked him up to take him.
This party was a typical East Texas party with teens.  You know, drinking, bonfire, shit like that.  All night, he would stand directly opposite me over the fire and stare at me.  Nothing out of line, and I really never even noticed.
At the end of the night, we took him back to where he was staying and at one point, my boyfriend pulled over so they could get out and pee.  He asked me to hold his beer saying something to the effect of wanting a beautiful woman to hold his drink.  I never thought anything of it.  When we dropped him off, he looked at me for a long time and said good-bye. I

I never heard from him again.

So, I am driving to work, when I start thinking about this.   Did I, being a young stupid teen, lose out on something that could have been great?   I love my husband and children, but what would my life have been if I had actually paid attention to the man who, after 3 years, went through the trouble of asking around to find me?  He barely knew me, but he wanted to enough to look for me.
Did I really screw myself out of something that could have been perfect?
I will never know now, but it has been weighing on my mind.